Going Out Essentials: I’ve come to the realization that not much fits into a ‘purse’ suited for a hamster. No matter how hard one tries to inconspicuously overstuff a miniature bag, it will always appear that you’re a hoarder of materialistic items. Therefore, a girl is forced to prioritize her belongs.  Over my years of experience these items have proved to be most valuable.   First and foremost…THE FLASK. There is a huge tradeoff happening here, mostly beneficial for all parties involved.  Okay so the thing takes up the entirety of your so valuable square footage but HEY it deems other more frivolous items useless. Money is no longer needed to buy drinks, you simply spike your lemon water.  Let’s face it, make-up is no longer necessary (pun intended) when wasted. There’s no saving you now so just have a bitchin’ good time and look like shit.  Secondly, NETWORKING CARDS. I no longer refer to them as business cards simply because I have no business. Honestly speaking now, I give out my number far too much to be bothered to repeat it time and again throughout the night. This is the lazy girls way of life.  Sooner or later the smart girls will catch on. There you have it, I’ve whittled down your purse essentials for you ladies, no need for thanks. 

Going Out Essentials:

I’ve come to the realization that not much fits into a ‘purse’ suited for a hamster. No matter how hard one tries to inconspicuously overstuff a miniature bag, it will always appear that you’re a hoarder of materialistic items. Therefore, a girl is forced to prioritize her belongs.  Over my years of experience these items have proved to be most valuable.  

First and foremost…THE FLASK. There is a huge tradeoff happening here, mostly beneficial for all parties involved.  Okay so the thing takes up the entirety of your so valuable square footage but HEY it deems other more frivolous items useless. Money is no longer needed to buy drinks, you simply spike your lemon water.  Let’s face it, make-up is no longer necessary (pun intended) when wasted. There’s no saving you now so just have a bitchin’ good time and look like shit. 

Secondly, NETWORKING CARDS. I no longer refer to them as business cards simply because I have no business. Honestly speaking now, I give out my number far too much to be bothered to repeat it time and again throughout the night. This is the lazy girls way of life.  Sooner or later the smart girls will catch on. There you have it, I’ve whittled down your purse essentials for you ladies, no need for thanks.